Urinetown the Musical Serves as Inspiration for Trump's Next New Bill
Great. Another reason to hate the theatre. Always giving people ideas and eye opening experiences. Well this time, the wrong person got an idea. Donald Trump caught the matinee of Urinetown last weekend at the Kennedy Center. An usher claimed the President seemed confused when the actors started singing. White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt claims Trump had ZERO intention of supporting the arts, and that apparently he thought this was a place to discreetly be peed on by a Russian woman other than Melania, because Melania’s rate is getting too high and he spent all his money suing South Park. However, when the overture began, he couldn’t PEElieve what he was hearing. And it all came to a head when the song “It’s a Privilege to Pee” started to play. Remember in Despicable Me when Gru says “lightbulb…”
“We watched as his hand struck forehead, in a DUH! type of manner,” says broadway star Christian Borle, “and we realized we fucked up. Like way bigger than the time I cheated on Sutton Foster with Laura Bell Bundy during Legally Blonde the Musical.”
After the matinee, Trump announced his new bill “Big Beautiful [Toilet] Bowl Bill” which would include a tax on all to piss. His cult cried tears of joy, this would completely solve the gendered bathroom crisis! If trans people wanted to pee, they had to pay! And Trump loves money more than he hates gay people and democrats! “The money from the bill will be going to fund Pissrael, so we can rest assured our piss is in good hands.” says long time MAGA supporter [Insert irrelevant celebrities here, pick your favorite]. His non rich and very poor, desolate even, supporters were asked their opinion on the new bill, and they said it was fine for liberals to pay and pee, but there was clearly a hidden message from Trump in the bill that spelled ICUP, which to us was saying if Trump watched us pee it would be gay, so clearly President Trump wants us to hold our pee so we will and he’s a genius.
Toilet paper in the country is flying off the shelf, pandemic style, as people rush to complete their business before the bill takes effect. Other necessities like water and prunes have seen a large plummet in their sales, which is probably unrelated. If only South Park could have predicted something like this… oh wait they did in season 26 episode 3.