PETA Protesters Outside Alligator Alcatraz Unaware of the Absence of Alligators

A large group of protesters gathered outside of Alagator Alcatraz this past week, representing PETA. However, when asked what they were protesting, there seemed to be some confusion.  

“We are here today to fight against the cruel conditions that hundreds of alligators are being kept in,” he proudly stated. “They’re putting dozens of them in one cage, it’s disgusting!” When it was brought to his attention that this was in fact a prison for people, not the largest reptile in North America - he seemed perplexed. 

“Oh, well I don’t really organize the protests. I just go where I’m needed.” When our reporter found the leader of the group, she was also shocked to hear about the lack of alligators. 

“They should change the name. It’s honestly really confusing, and we wasted a lot of time here. Time we could have spent making a difference in animal lives,” she huffed. 

When questioned why they won’t stay and protest on behalf of the actual prisoners, she replied, “There are millions of animals out there who literally can’t speak up for themselves.” 

She then added, “If these people are really having that bad of a time they could just say something. I don’t know why you’re asking me about them.” 

Soon after, the group dissolved, taking off on tandem bikes. There were overheard discussions of stopping for something (vegan) to eat on their way home.