Inspiring! One-Hundred Sexy Women Just Raced to Fuck this Dude Who Logged a Super Obscure Movie on Letterboxd
The review reads as follows:
“La Chinoise (1967) directed by Jean-Luc Goddard
Review by brandonlchase69420 3 July 2026
6/10
Wow–I am always blown away by the IQ required to understand Goddard’s films. The use of sound… just, chef’s kiss. I am never beating the loves-French-cinema allegations (and proud). Almost gave this a 7, probs would’ve if I’d seen it on 35mm instead of VOD.”
The incident? Violent, and nearly deadly.
It began the moment the review hit Letterboxd. At first, no one would’ve suspected what was happening. You would’ve seen one, two, maybe three gorgeous specimens race past you. You might’ve thought, oh cool, a beautiful lady going for a run, giving it her all, that rocks, or if you were a pervert, ohhhh that’s so freaking hot I’m gonna take a picture for my collection or something.
But as the hoard of supermodels and past Love Island contestants began to grow, you would’ve known. Oh, you would’ve known something was amiss. Oh yes. You would’ve known. Ohhhhhhh yes little one.
The pheromones wafting off of this race were unmistakably insatiable. Once the women reached the 5-block radius around the home of Letterboxd user brandonlchase69420, they were incredibly pungent. So much so that the smells were actually visible in the air, like stink lines in a cartoon, or pie smell, also in a cartoon.
Fights began to break out. There was pushing, kicking, and hair-pulling as the gorgeous ones tried to get an advantage in the race.
Eventually, the authorities were called, and a bunch of firefighters arrived to blockade brandonlchase69420’s street. If you want to picture the firefighters as sexy, like from the calendars, please be my guest!!
The firefighters heroically lined the crowd of one-hundred up in a line at the end of the block, so that a true, fair-and-square race could be conducted. “10,” the firefighters said, “9, 8, 7, 6,” and so on and so forth. “4, 3, 2,” they fired a starting pistol into the air and the ladies sprinted.
Running at a speed so fast she could barely be seen by the human eye, a former Love Island UK contestant named Marnie Frock reached brandonlchase69420’s door. Though the other 99 women were disappointed, they understood that she won fair and square, and began their journeys home.
What happened to Marnie and brandonlchase69420 once she got inside? Well, here’s an excerpt of his exclusive interview with TNR (to be published in full behind our paywall):
Tease and Resist: So, what happened when Marnie got in there?
brandonlchase69420: well, let’s just say, we did like the French do. If you know what I mean.
Tease and Resist: Ooo la la! Oui oui! And how did this whole episode make you feel about your status as a reviewer?
brandonlchase69420: uh, I don’t know, good? Da doy?
Tease and Resist: Oh, okay. Sorry. Do you want to have sex with me?
brandonlchase69420: Not particularly. I have a screening at the Siskel Center tonight.
Tease and Resist: Fuuuuuuck… Fuck my life……. Call me, okay?
This, dear reader, was a successful tale in the ever-growing saga of gorgeous women racing to fuck dudes who log obscure movies. But many times, it is not this peaceful or civil and can even be violent and even awkward too. So please, don’t be afraid to spread the word to your most obnoxious male friends. Logging obscure movies on Letterboxd poses serious risks and dangers for men who offer nothing else to society!! Stay safe out there.