Top 5 Orthopedic Shoes That Scream, “Yeah, Grandma Still Gets Fucked”
Naturalizer - Natalia Kitten Heel
Each time Grandma removes these modest kitten heels, Pop-Pop feels the urge to rub her bunions...and her clit. Grandma says they’re great for kneeling in the pew at church…and between Pop-Pop’s thighs. But beware! These devil-red shoes might cause sinful thoughts in the minds of younger men. Men like your lil boyfriend, perchance.
Keds - Jump V Kick Leather Velcro Sneakers
When Grandma takes off these Keds sneakers, the faint screeeeeech of velcro resembles a mating call. These athletic shoes signal that she’s been running through Pop-Pop's mind..and she's ready for some action! With these shoes, she could even keep up with a younger man–such as your lil boyfriend.
Dr. Scholl’s - Nice Day Penny Loafer
True to their name, these loafers will ensure that Grandma enjoys a "nice day"…and a naughty night! She loves a shoe that’s both sensible and sensual, especially when you bring your lil boyfriend home for summer break. After all, these loafers take Grandma back to her teaching days…and your lil boyfriend could learn a thing or two from a seasoned siren!
Treasuring Mothers - Grandma Personalize Clog Custom Crocs Clog On Sandal Fashion Style Comfortable For Women Men Kid
Oh, Grandma hit the jackpot with this one! If there ever was a monster shoe, it’s surely the Croc! Featured on a niche, vaguely Christian website that only accepts payment in Euros, these Crocs read “Blessed to be called”...but are worn by a woman who’s blessed to be CAKED UP! As Grandma puts Jibbitz charms in her Croc holes, the men around her daydream about filling her bodily holes. Even men like your lil boyfriend!
UGG - Women’s Classic Short II
Wait, these look familiar…OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS! Grandma definitely stole these from your closet…right before she stole your man!!! Like fine wine and UGG boots, some things get better with age. Your lil boyfriend knows what I’m talking about ;)
Love, Grandma (and your lil ex-boyfriend-slash-new-step-grandfather???)