This is About McFlurries, Definitely Not American Democracy
The machine isn’t working. You’ll have to try again later. I promise we’re trying to fix it.
You pull your Honda Civic up to the box knowing that it won’t work. But some dark, secret part of you knows that it can work and hopes that today is that day. You are a McMoth to a McFlame. Someone has to have fixed it since the last time you tried to order one! Then, the crackling of microphone static as an underpaid teenager tells you: “I’m sorry, the McFlurry machine is broken.”
It’s not that no one wants a McFlurry. In fact, most people agree that McFlurries are a great idea. The world was built upon McFlurries but nowadays, the machine keeps breaking down. Maybe someone just needs to clean out the nozzle and get rid of the frozen buildup. It’s been there for years and there’s no term limit for how long it can stay there. And the more you think about it, the more you realize that the icy chunks blocking your path to a McFlurry today were put there by people who don’t even get McFlurries anymore! The inventors of the McFlurry are dead! They created a McFlurry machine that worked back then and it is time for the McFlurry machine to get some updates. But the managers say that they are just fine with the way the McFlurry machine is now. The McFlurry machine is not a priority for them because they already have all the fries and Diet Coke they could ask for.
When it does work, what a treat! It’s sweet and refreshing and hits the spot. Everyone benefits. You get a delicious McFlurry, the worker doesn’t have to hear your sigh of disappointment, and Mr. McDonald gets another three bucks. But as you shovel unmixed oreos into your mouth, something which should unsettle you but you now accept as the machine doing its best, you have to ask yourself, how long will it last? Is this McFlurry, like all things in life, fleeting? How can I sit here and enjoy my McFlurry when I know that there are other people who still have broken McFlurry machines? So scarf down your ice cream with that weird spoon/straw/mixer thing while you can and try not to think about the broken machine. Or even better, help fix the machine! Get in there! Call your McFlurry representatives! Get a four year degree in McFlurry machines and learn to run the machine yourself! Long live the McFlurry!