Chicago Vows to Plant More Trees in Effort to Increase Places to Staple Tow Zone Signs
After much controversy over the parking spaces being sold to some guy in the… I wanna say middle east? I don’t really know what I’m talking about- lowkey just parroting what I’ve heard from my liberal friends in the area. I just know Mayor Daley was involved okay. Anyway. All our parking tolls and stuff go to NOT even the city of chicago so people are pretty upset, or so I’ve heard. Again, I don’t even have a car in the city i just tackle the CTA every day like a true city dweller. My drivers license is literally from Delaware and I weigh 35lbs more than what it says. I am not a trusted source. Anyway. So this guy has all our parking money apparently and everyone is annoyed cause now no one wants to pay parking tolls, but as someone who had to watch her roommates car for a few weeks, I personally noticed Chicago LOVES to throw up a last minute tow zone sign. Like every other day. Having to move my roommates car even though I’m a really bad driver just so her tow fee wouldn’t go to some guy in Uzbekistan? I think.
I went down to the Mayors office, Lori Johnson Brandon Lightfoot? All this to say I said to him hey what gives? And he said OOf you should take the CTA if I don’t want to pay tow zone fees or whatever and i explained I did but I was just being a nice roommate and watching my roommates car and he was like ohhh okay. We had some back and forth until eventually I pointed out that the tow zone signs are too spaced out, there’s at least one side way block in between each and you can barely tell that you have 24 hours to move your car! Then we started shooting the shit and talking about the crazy bad weather this summer from, I wanna say climate change? And I was going on about how all the trees in my neighborhood were uprooted and like BOOM. Eureka! Me and Mr Mayor decided that to make him look better and to improve the cities feelings towards the parking situation, we would plant a couple trees and market them as environmentally friendly tow zone posts! The first of their kind! Synergy!
Now there will be a tree planting ceremony on August 23rd at 9 am on every single street in the city, so please move your car! Thanks