If Trump Wants to Be Hitler So Much, Why Won’t He Kill Himself?
The United States is not even a year into Trump’s second presidency and the question on everyone’s minds: When will this guy just fucking die? Every word out of his mouth, every proposed bill or policy has most Americans with common sense pulling their hair out and applying for Canadian citizenship. What’s worse is that nothing he says or does is original! If you’ve ever watched Criminal Minds, they mention that famous serial killers will always have a copycat, and that is all that Trump is, and Spencer Reid would be bored as hell solving that case. Don’t bore pretty people, it’s an ugly thing to do! As an identical twin to Adolf Hitler, all he is missing is the little mustache but I don’t think he could grow that considering the bird's nest that sits on his head has to be stapled on by JD Vance every morning. And I heard Melania hates a bush.
Direct comparisons between Hitler and Trump have been made for years, they have very similar policies and their rise to power was almost the same trajectory. Even now, Trump uses immigrants as scapegoats the same way Hitler used the Jews, and next calling for the removal of the “enemy from within” aka his political adversaries. Mind you, the first concentration camp “Dachau” was in Germany, and it’s original purpose was to detain people who did not agree with good old Dolf’s ideas. Side track, but have you ever heard the expression “gorp” like, for “good old raisins and peanuts” What the hell is that about!! Okay refocus. His detention centers are modern day concentration camps, reportedly hundreds of detainees have “disappeared” and his sugar/ baby daddy Elon Musk literally did a Nazi Salute on inauguration day. So unoriginal, they can’t come up with their own policies or fun dog whistle hand gestures. Like, bring dabbing back but for neo nazis, that might be cute! People would respect a dab! Just call it nostalgia for the old days!
But Trump will never be as big a star as Hitler, because he is a coward and at the end of the day Hitler accomplished the one thing Trump never could- blowing his brains out. Hitler doesn’t get enough credit for how baller that was of him. I think we all owe him an apology and should start saying “Thanks for killing yourself Hilter!” And even as an avid critic of the Trump Administration and the far right ideology, I think if Trump nutted up and took a whole bottle of sleeping pills like Emily Osment in that movie Cyberbully, you might just catch me saying something along the lines of, “That’ll do pig, that’ll do.” Like from Babe (1995) . Or you know like a high school football coach who was always hard on their players until one day he softens his expression. I might even say, Donald Trump, I’m proud of you, thank you for Making America Great Again!