Top 10 Jobs That AI Can’t Replace
Chimney Sweep- “Chimchiminy chimchiminy chim chim charoo.” Dick Van Dyke is like almost 100 by the way and still does somersaults, so I’d like to see a clanker try. Can AI really get into the nooks and crannies of a chimney covered in industrial revolution aftermath? Remember when peppered moths had to adapt to the newly dusty color of England through natural selection? Keyword NATURAL…. Ain't nothing natural or christian about AI.
Civil War Reenactor- Williamsburg marked safe. Although why are these guys so proud to portray a confederate soldier? We would stop calling men losers if they stop acting like them.
Dog Daycare Attendant- If you have seen the new Superman movie, Krypto is exactly what I mean when I say a robot could never handle that. I work at a dog daycare, and every day I know I have job security. The robots will get peed on one time and short circuit, but you gotta be prepared to get peed on way more than that.
Oldest Daughter- Ai doesn’t know what it's like to deal with crippling perfectionism. Point in case, AI summaries on google searches are almost always wrong. Not programmed to have that healthy competition with the baby of the family who was allowed to stay up past 10:00pm and drink Mountain Dew like, 4 years earlier than the oldest.
Hot Dog Guy at Baseball Stadium- Another example of AI unable to handle a dog. Imagine biting into your $10 ballpark dog and you get a wire in it. Where is the charm of HUMAN hair in my food?!?!? Let me speak to your motherboard!
Etsy Witch- those girls work overtime cursing my ex (if this gets more than 1,000 views, I’ll name drop him so you can curse him too.) A lot of those curses require BLOOD, like the one thing AI does not have.
Micro Brewery Owner With a Ginger Santa Length Beard and Beanie- You cannot make oil taste good, they tried that with Malort. No one will replace Bryan with a “Y” or his dog friendly patio. No food, only bags of chips for $3. He works hard to provide the most piss-water-IPA you can find. AI might be too employed to have the time to fuck around and open a micro brewery anyway.
Mormon Missionary in an Underdeveloped Country- Does AI even have a religion that they can pedal? AI also cannot tie a little tie, button a white shirt, or pedal a bike. Also aren’t they usually providing clean water to these towns? AI does the exact opposite of that, grey water assholes.
Nonbinary Roommate In Abusive Housing Situation Who Needs You To Donate To Their GofundMe- The problem with this is AI is LITERALLY binary.
Tease and Resist Writer- AI need not apply.