3 Affirmations To Repeat To Yourself Before Redownloading The Apps
There you are. Sitting in your room bored. Wanting something new to do on your phone, yearning to stimulate that already, very much, rotted brain. You scrolled through the reels, scrolled through the TikTok’s, checked who viewed the story, ignored all your emails. And now what?
Well… you could always go on a dating app... But always remember these 3 things…
“The Apps are the Doordash of dating.”
Hinge, Tinder, Bumble —they are menus —with all sorts of colors, buttons, and shiny options to look at.
And don’t you feel gross when you go on DoorDash? You open the app when you’re hungry and lazy, ready to spend way too much money on a lukewarm chicken sandwich. And then you wait 45 minutes for this humid meal just to finish it within seconds, feeling more empty inside than you did to begin with.
And thanks to modern technology, dating apps can work the same way. You go on these apps when you are horny and lazy, and if you play the game right, you can get someone practically delivered to your door, and then when they leave, you can then go cry asleep over how deeply sick and alone you are! Isn’t that just awesome? No. What you need is a nourishing meal, something made with love and care. But if you just get it ‘doordashed’ to your house, where is the fun in that?
“This is not a game on your iPhone, these are actual human beings.”
I know. I know. You want to get the apps cuz you're bored ! You just neeeed another notification on your phone to tend to. And even better, this notification is flirty! A fun little game, where you can customize your profile and look at all the pretty people in your area that you can actively click and say “Hey stranger!1 I like your face and i think i want to kiss it? Talk to me, talk to me!!’
As somebody who used to spend hours, almost entire summers, on my family’s computer chatting with virtual boyfriends on Minecraft or Roblox– I know how fun it can be to just flirt in a random chat room. I catch myself using the same mindset on these dating apps–seeing the men and women I talk to as a game that I merely need to win.
*sighs and pushes hair behind ear* But these are real people. And even worse. This is all a stupid distraction. These apps are working damn hard to keep your eyes on a screen and they want you to get lost. But think of all that time you could use towards something productive. Like going outside and meeting the living breathing people around you.
“What hole am I trying to fill?”
No pun intended. But yes, pun is intended. Are you just horny? Looking for something casual? Okay, fine. Give the apps a go! Have some fun– go peg some random dude or get that dick sucked. But if you are looking to fill the dark hole inside of you that yearns to have someone in your bed that you deeply love and care about, then don’t get the apps. The apps can scratch the itch, but they can’t give you something genuine. Think of it this way. When you meet someone in real life, there is a certain energy to it, some other worldly force that brought you to that person. But the apps force that connection to be made, when really, maybe it wasn’t supposed to be made in the first place.
It is possible to have a great experience on the app. A great date with this hot and heavy chemistry, and at the end of it, you can go ‘Holy shit this might be something!’ But where will it lead? A six-month-long situationship? A friend with benefits kind of deal? Can it actually lead to a full on long term relationship? Is that what you want?
“Oh, how’d you guys meet?” Tell them. Tell them you met the love of your life on an app. Does that embarrass you? Why? Because you know, truly deep down, that true good relationships aren’t made on the apps.
Get off your phone.