Frederick Douglass Plans Epic and Hilarious Prank
The world may know the renowned Frederick Douglass as an influential abolitionist in the civil rights movement of the 19th century, but what you probably didn’t know, was that he was the prank master general of his time. Yes, indeed, it is true, dearest reader! But do not bother googling, for you will be met with only half the story: the abolitionist part. Half the truth is still a lie, good fellow! Hip hip!
When Douglass was 20-years-old, and had just reached New York City in September of 1838 after fleeing from a Baltimore shipyard. As soon as he saw the Big Apple, his secret prank dream became a reality. There, he started small, not wanting to give any of his tricks away too soon. He threw banana peels at people’s feet, tapped people on their right shoulders and walked away to the left, and he even asked townspeople if their refrigerators were running (most of them weren't, as they had just been invented). However, once Douglass moved and settled in Massachusetts, his prank game got “too tuff.”
The seniors at the local junior high in New Bedford, MA had heard of Douglass’s pranks, and asked him to conduct one that would go down in history. At first Douglass was like, “No way, I’m too old for that,” but then after a few beats, he exclaimed, “Siiike!” and the crowd went wild. While writing his second book: My Bondage and My Freedom, Douglass found himself often sidetracked and suffocated in ideas for awesome pranks. Should they put a teacher’s carriage and horse on top of the roof? No… Maybe everyone conducts an opposite day? Nay, he needed to think smaller, but still keep the same shock value. After a month of plotting, he finally got it: Nail through finger prank.
Of course! It was so obvious! So real! So riveting. If you showed an injury to a teacher, they had to be concerned! It was perfect. That dusk, Douglass stayed up all night in his room designing the prank prop. First, he grabbed a bandage, poured some red goo on it to make it look like blood, cut a nail in half, and attached both ends onto the bandage. To test it, he approached his wife Anna Murray and screamed in agony! “AHHH there is a literal nail through my finger! Please help!” Murray rushed to his side, and was absolutely fooled.
Douglass went on to make every single student a bloody nail bandage for their fingers, but the day he brought them to campus, the seniors were nowhere to be found. They had all skipped school. “Those bloody punks,” Douglass murmured under his breath.
Douglass sauntered home disappointedly with his prankster bandages in hand, lowkey wishing he had thought of that prank himself. After a few beats, he noticed the sun starting to set along the horizon, and felt his skin grow warm with the sun’s beams. He smiled, and paused for a moment in pride, being happy with how far he had come. *Squish* Douglass then hesitantly looked down realizing he had stepped in dog poop. While most would have been grossed out, Douglass thought, “I think I can do something with this.