Adorable! This Domestic Terrorist Quotes Dr. Seuss in His Ransom Note
Dear U.S. House of Representatives,
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. It doesn’t matter if the proverbial “fish” is red or blue. The American people keep getting FUCKED by both Republicans AND Democrats!
Oh, the places you’ll go...like to HELL for committing wage theft against the working class!!! When it comes to inflation, wealth inequality, and big pharma, our lawmakers’ hearts are three sizes too small!
I do not like green eggs and ham…and corporate bribes with Uncle Sam!!!
Horton Hears A Who? More like Horton hears a WHISTLE, and I’m the whistleblower!!! The American people deserve to know the TRUTH, and I am ready to call out all your little tricks and schemes and under-the-table dealings, you CUCKS!
A person’s a person, no matter how small. I know Republicans like to sling this quote around in their pro-life propaganda, but what about the “small” people in this country, huh? What about the WORKING CLASS! What about the people with small incomes, and small apartments, and small penises?
(To clarify, I DO NOT HAVE A SMALL PENIS. But like, what if I did? Then what? Would you treat me worse than you’re doing now? TRICK QUESTION! The conditions in this SHIT HOLE of a country couldn’t possibly get any worse!!!)
Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not. So if you don’t wire $5 million dollars to my bank account in 24 hours, I’m blowing up the Bean. Yeah, you know, the one in Chicago. I AM BEING SO FUCKING FOR REAL RIGHT NOW!
And guess who’s tied up under the Bean? This is a letter and you can’t respond in real time, so I’ll just tell you. It’s Senator CORY BOOKER. And he WON’T STOP TALKING!!! Yeah, he did that filibuster where he spoke for 25 hours. But in 24 hours, I’M BLOWING HIM TO SMITHEREENS! And also the Bean!!!
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. If I were you, I would steer myself in the direction of a bank, ASAP!
Arrivederci, bitches!
Waluigi Mangione