Trauma Dump Much? Landlord Selfishly Postpones Curtain Rod Replacement Due to Reported “Funeral” of “Father”

Bucktown tenant Allison Hotdog reports that conflicts between herself and the owner of the 3-unit brownstone property arose on Tuesday of last week, and have since reached a fever pitch. 

Hotdog was closing the curtains on her front window, when the curtain rod snapped in half, leaving the living room curtainless and exposed to pedestrians. She immediately called her landlord, Steven Pipe, to ask for a repair.

After numerous attempts, Hotdog reached Pipe, but before she could explain the dire situation, Pipe told her that he was attending the funeral of his father, who had passed away several days before. He then hung up the call.

Um, okay? TMI much?

Clearly, that was like a lot to dump on Allison Hotdog when she was already in a bad mood because of her curtain rod snapping in half. Like, are you kidding? The severity of this overshare cannot be overstated.

Hotdog then reported that Pipe sent her a text saying he would replace the rod himself in a week’s time, or reimburse Hotdog if she wanted to purchase a new curtain rod and replace it herself. Seriously? Okay, so, Allison Hotdog and her roommates each pay $995 for rent each month, and yet they’re expected to do this repair themselves? That had better be a hilarious joke, Steven Pipe.

The conflict is ongoing, as Hotdog and roommates are still living with no curtain rod, in deep fear that a pervert could walk up to their window at any point and start fapping or taking pictures of them or something. A chilling and disgusting thought–though, of course, no more disgusting than the negligence of this “grieving” landlord.

Show up, repair the rod, then pipe down, Pipe!!

More on this story as this develops.