‘Grass is Definitely Greener!’- Your Unemployed Friend Who’s Getting Money From Their Parents.
Oh me? Yeah. I’m unemployed. Grass is definitely greener on the other side.
Haha. Yeah I’m getting money from my parents, and yeah, I live with them. Very sexy, very chic. Twenty-two, unemployed, uhmm, who wants to put a ring on this finger? For real though–I have so much free time, I can start to understand how a woman ends up married and pregnant by twenty-two just to have something to do.
But seriously!!! I’m thriving. Like really thriving.
I mean, I hated my last job. During a closing shift, I cried super loudly in the customer bathroom ‘til my manager told me to go home early. Which was awesome because I was crying so hard cause I wanted to go home and leave that awful horrendous place. Thanks Queen! I haven’t been back since.
It is so cool that I can wake up whenever I want. My rules! My time! Sometimes I play this game where I set an alarm for 7 a.m. and tell myself that today is the day I start waking up early and get my life together. And when my alarm goes off, I snooze it ! And snooze again, and again, spending the whole morning drifting in and out in between sweating and fever dreams !
Last night I had a dream where I was the host of a huge talent show. Everyone from my entire life was there: my parents, past teachers, even that one guy I fucked! But backstage, I couldn’t find my shoes, and I was also bleeding through my suit. The music kept getting louder and louder,
“Introducing Annabelle Weber!!”
I went on stage, barefoot in a blood-soaked suit. Everyone kept screaming, but it wasn’t really excitement, something closer to panic. I tried screaming back to quiet the audience down? If that makes sense? But it wouldn’t stop.
Then I woke up at 1:07 p.m.
Everyday I get to wake up and think, *What do I have to do today?*
And the answer is: nothing.
Which is empowering for about twelve minutes! But don’t worry...I stay busy.
I make coffee. I scroll. I dig in my butt. I tell myself I’m being intentional; it's okay to take things slow, and it is okay to get stoned at 10 AM.
Everyone is jealous of me. And they should be! Because I’m free ! Free to do laundry at 2 p.m, free to take a nap that I didn’t earn. Free to spiral creatively and call it a “process.”
Sometimes I’ll say things like,
“I’m working on some projects.”
And then I will type on my laptop, and then delete everything I typed on my laptop.
BAHH! This is temporary !
I can be a waitress by tomorrow. Just let me enjoy this moment now.
I used to have no time. My car used to be filled to the brim with Dunkin donuts trash, my laundry would pile up for weeks, and I wouldn’t even have time to wash my face. Everyday I prayed for everything to just STOP. And now I am here, and all I have is time. It just sits here. And it judges me.
But yeah.
No complaints.
The grass is greener.
I swear.