Was He An Eagle Scout as a Little Boy? Or Is He Just Some Dickhead From Portland?

Hmmmm.. He has a shaggy little haircut with a mustache. So he may be from Portland. But hmmm. He does have on cargo shorts and a carabiner.But that could also just mean he is going to manipulate me, or he’s bisexual.

Okay okay, he is pulling out a canister. He drinks water from a canister! Very eagle scout! Oh. There is homemade cider in it. fuck. That is so Portland.

Should I ask him if he was an eagle scout? No no, that would be too simple. I want to keep playing this guessing game.

“Do you have a cigarette?”

“Why of course.”

He pulls out tobacco and papers. Oh brother, of course this guy rolls his own spliffs. That doesn't help me either.

“I like your boots.”

“Hey thanks! I got these when me and my boys backpacked through all of Texas.”

“Woah! Neat. How old were you when you did that?” Great question Annabelle. Thanks Annabelle.

“Oh this was last year. We took a shit ton of shrooms, and I had an ego death. Finally forgave my mother for all the shit she has done to me.”

DAMNIT. I am not getting any closer, and mommy issues. Wait, hot. No. Focus.

“Do you have any tattoos?”

“Oh yeah a shit ton. My favorite one is this Iron Giant one on my thigh. But I also have a really sick mountain tattoo on my wrist that I got when I camped in the Canadian forests.”

Okay. Portland.