Annual Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Competition Ends in Tragedy

A local hot dog-eating contest ends in tears as the competition comes to an explosive end. For the past five years running, Steve Burgher has won by a minimum of three dogs, besting runner-up Bill Sacks every time.

The brutal and cutthroat competition led Bill to place a live firework in Steve’s final dog bun. In a cartoonish attempt to thwart a sixth win in a row, tragedy strikes. After finishing 12 hot dogs, Steve embarks on his final, nearly fatal dog.

On his very first bite, the ballistic goes off in a flash of color and sound. Left behind, Steve, with his face covered in soot, hair standing up straight, blackened by the explosion. The hot dog bun left smoldered between his lips.

In that moment, while the audience was distracted, Steve’s arch nemesis, Bill, shoved five hot dogs under the table and tried to eat two more in a gregarious display of anti-sportmanship. The whole time yelling, “Oh god!! The Horror! Who did this?!” between bites of hot dog.

Their rivalry dates back to their high school years, when the contest that began as a friendly competition spiraled into cutthroat conflict. “As long as I've known them, Bill has always been in Steve’s shadow. Shame how the Fourth went. It’s a big deal in this town, and usually brings everyone together. Not this year…” a townsman shared. And a big deal it shall remain - now, July 4th will be remembered in infamy.

Arrests were quickly made, as Bill failed to hide any evidence of foul play. After mild pressure from authorities and his peers, Bill admitted to his crime. “I'd do it all over again, too! As many times as I need to beat you, Steve!” He rambled maniacally while being taken away by the cops.

While Steve survived with minimal injury, it was reported that a local celebrity pigeon - Mr. Beaker - was killed in the blast. The beloved bird acted as a cleaning crew, by eating the competitor’s crumbs. Some claimed that the bird was nowhere near the blast. Rather, it died due to eating too many hot dogs, and had exploded separately on its own. This was never confirmed.

The town remains heartbroken and confused by this holiday tragedy. A GoFundMe has been set up to support those who were close to Mr. Beaker and other victims. Donate below.