You Guys Remember P!nk? She Was Pretty Famous For A While

This is crazy. P!nk was famous and we all thought she’s gay. Now she’s not and she’s actually always been straight. What the hell happened? From “I’m Comin Up (Get The Party Started)” to “Funhouse (Now It’s Full of Evil Clowns),” for about 15 years, when, let’s be honest we were children, we couldn’t get enough of this damn butch! She had me putting up my glass of Pink Fanta for being wrong in all the right ways. But now she’s not famous, and that can happen.

In fact, it happens quite often. Those celebrities who were unstoppable until they were stopped, never quite making it to icon status tier-1 of the Pop Star Pantheon. I hate to say it but Katy Perry’s on her way there. Let me be very clear–to not being famous anymore. And Barbs be nice, but you know where I’m going with this. These ladies are no Mariah. But JLo is no Mariah too, and she’s still famous?

Yes, that's true. It’s because JLo went another route to stay relevant. She’s messy as fuck always making out or screaming at whoevers on her arm. And I deeply acknowledge and respect that. You can hate the woman for not singing, but she’s gonna be in the corner of a damn People’s page until the year 2057. Then she’ll pass away, peacefully. A couple years later we’ll find out she actually had a messy night with Joe Biden’s pardoned son. Can’t think of his name right now. But it will make the news, only for a couple days. 

It will be eclipsed by the somewhat happy welcoming of Earth’s first public human cyborg babe, made with an AI man’s floppy disk’s silver seed and his gorgeous human wife, she’s sort of auburn in hair color. This is all so crazy. How things come and go. Sometimes things are now huge awesome forever never ending party but trust me, it all ends, just like a pill.