10 Gifts to Give Your Mom on Mother’s Day Before You Tell Her You Quit Your Job

Mother’s Day is around the corner! Time to celebrate your mom, show your appreciation, and make her feel truly special, right before you absolutely ruin her day by telling her you quit your job. And why did you quit again? Oh, right. Your coworkers were being… weird? Yeah. You’re going to need every item on this list.

A muscle gun

Get her a muscle gun before she gets a real one. You quitting your job is about to put some serious strain on your mom’s shoulders.

P!NK concert tickets

It doesn’t matter if you spend your last pennies on these tickets, they will buy you at least 48 hours of peace. Have you seen a P!NK concert? She’s flying through the air on silks, doing backflips, singing her heart out. It’s inspiring, transformative, even. Imagine screaming together: “So raise your glass if you are wrong, but in all the right ways.” Your mom will look at you, realize that she too has made mistakes. Right then and there she will give you sympathy.

CBD gummies

Self-explanatory. But do not get THC edibles. That may induce a panic attack. We cannot have that.

A gratitude journal

Encourage her to write down everything she’s grateful for. Maybe get a few entries in ahead of time:

“I am grateful for my perfect angel daughter.”

“I am grateful for my patience.”

“I am grateful for my daughter’s… creativity.”

Michelle Obama’s memoir

This is strategic. Michelle Obama left a high-paying corporate law job to pursue public service. Prime your mom to believe quitting your job is bold and admirable, not um, concerning.

A bottle of wine

A given.

Another bottle of wine

Always be prepared.

Homemade banana bread

Make it so good she’ll want it again. Then casually mention you’ll have plenty of time to bake now.

A photo montage of you as a child

When she gets upset, remind her who she’s talking to: her sweet, innocent little baby girl.

A third bottle of wine

This one is for you. If all else fails.