Slay! RFK Jr’s Brain Worm is a Transgender Soldier With an Abortion and a Vendetta
The 17inch long sentient tapeworm that ate half of Robert F. Kennedy Jr’s brain is rested, recuperated, and ready for revenge. Says Meelstrom (a fake name the worm has chosen to protect her identity), “the Kennedy curse didn’t come out of nowhere. Worms worldwide have banded to form an unsanctioned terrorist network to seek out and destroy the Kennedy family once and for all.”
Meelstrom is a trans-worm having performed solo shows across North America before joining the terrorist bloc. “Theatre is my hobby,” she insists, “not my vocation. Eliminating RFK through Zyns and mutated polio is.” Asked about her time in the service, Meelstrom grows stoic. “I saw a lot of things out there I’d like to pretend aren’t real. Baby worms screaming for their mothers. Grown men worms crying like infants for their wives. I saw a worm man slither over a landmine…it was horrific. I’ve got a lot I’m working on in CBT groups. There’s a lot of healing to be had.”
Citing abortion, the worm acknowledged confusion. “Worms are hermaphrodites, literally, with both female and male organs. My abortion was a choice based on me, not anyone else. I was steps away from a live grenade when the pregnancy test proved positive in my pocket. I thought about ending it all, I did.” Meelstruck powered through, however. “I have the autonomy to decide if I have a wormlette. I’d love to be a mother someday, but that day is not today. Today is the day of gnawing through the smooth tissue of Robert’s brain, of welcoming the parasite in raw milk to my mission, of ensuring neurobiological duress.”
Meelstruck is a trans soldier with an abortion, sure, but more pertinently, she is an American who wants leftist patriotism to overcome fear and dread in the face of violence and destruction. “I’m a worm,” Meelstruck says. “And I had to ask myself not what my country could do for me, but what I could do for my country.” Trans soldier worm abortion apparel is available on Society6 with promo code “the-CDC-is-not-Nazi-death-camps-but-this-motherfucker-lost-half-his-brain-to-a-worm-so-should-he-really-lead-HHS????”