6 Sex Ideas I Got From Reading Warrior Cats Fan Fiction
Warriors. A book series written by a team of British ladies under a group pen name, “Erin Hunter.” Get it? Hunter like cats? Hunting on a big mouse or some such the like?
I read these books in my youth. From what I can recall, they center around a bunch of hogwarts-style groups of cats called “clans.” Also they are a religion-based society with a team of gods, with whom you can hang out, if you pray hard enough.
And yes, I know what you’re thinking. Do they fuck? Well, the answer isn’t as simple as you may think. There are for sure romances, and some of them are forbidden if the two cats are from different clans. So like, do they fuck? I don’t know.
There are certainly a lot of things that allude to fucking. When I read them as a wee girl in middle school, I remember thinking to myself, wait, is that cat language for sex? In real life, it seems like cat sex is a totally different vibe than human sex. For example, I have three cats and they only seem to perform oral on their own crotches, not on each other’s.
After scouring the internet for information, I was able to glean that there are a whole litany of acts that appear to signal sexual intimacy between “warriors” (cats). Also, I just want to clarify that I think bestiality is wrong and so does the whole team here at TNR!
Touching paws
IF you’re TWO CATS, it seems like touching paws is an intimate act. For example, if you are cat married and you have kittens together, it is considered not cool to touch paws with another CAT.
Treating your lover’s wounds with a poultice you made from chewing leaves
Okay, so I remember in book one the original protagonist cat had a crush on the healer cat. So when he got in a big fight, the healer cat chewed on leaves and then used her mouth to put the poultice on his body. And he “felt warm inside.” BUT it was forbidden because there was an age gap–she was older than him, which is pretty feminist. TNR does not condone bestiality.
Licking on your lover’s ears
I think I remember this happening in the books and it meaning sex. Just want to reiterate, I don’t condone bestiality! Humans and animals should have sex ONLY with EACH OTHER. Wait, sorry, I phrased that weird. I mean only with themselves. Or– whatever. You get it!!
Humping
This one I picked up on moreso in the fanfictions. This was not ever mentioned in the books. And it wasn’t obliquely mentioned in the fanfictions either. I just sort of assumed. I’m writing this using public wifi at a cafe. Am I gonna get in trouble?
Abstainance
Like I said, the cats here lived under theocratic rule, their governing body being a clan of cat gods that seemed to mirror Christianity. So for that reason, having sex or kittens before marriage is highly discouraged in Warriors.
TNR believes that bestiality is WRONG and is illegal for good reason and should STAY illegal!!
Leaving Room For Star Clan
You know what, I don’t think I should be speaking on this anymore. I reached out to all 15 members of “Erin Hunter” for comment on what constitutes sex in warrior cats, and they all sent me so many emails, I got overwhelmed and just deleted the whole thread.
I do not condone bestiality and neither does this publication.