Hello everyone! My name is Fringers Premp! I am a beautiful girl, Instagram influencer, and as of the last year and a half, a business owner! Yay!
I bet you are wondering, what is a beautiful girl doing writing an article? Well, people have been saying really mean stuff about me and my publicist told me I had to release a statement, and I was like… um okay? I have never written an article before, but I found this website and I saw that it’s for girls and “nonbinary” (does anyone know what that means? I don’t!) and I decided to write in because I knew the girlies would have my back!!
A year and a half ago I was drinking my D.C. (bahahaha sorry, D.C. is what me and my sister Plap call Diet Coke. We are literal crackheads hahahaha) while eating a protein bar. I thought to myself, I love protein bars! And then BAM! I had an amazing idea, which was to combine the two, and make a zero calorie zero sugar zero sodium zero nutrition zero carb zero potassium zero taste zero sweetener zero fiber SODA with 200 grams of Protein!! And the best part is, it tastes like D.C. (which if you remember from earlier is what me and Plap call Diet Coke).
With the help of my sister Plap and ChatGPT, I put together a 100-slide presentation with beautiful renderings of what the cans would look like, and the business people loved it so much, they based the actual design on the beautiful image of a beach that the AI created! Yay!
Well, fast forward to now, we have sold 500 billion units of my soda SPANKING (named after a combination of the words sparkling and protein)! The people can’t get enough. It also tastes sooooo yummy according to our focus group of people who had recently burned their tongue on the hot coffee that we gave them in the waiting room.
So, here’s the awkward part. People keep saying that ever since they started drinking SPANKING, they’ve been having drippage from their, uh–third hole… if you know what I mean. How that’s any of my business is really beyond me, because for one thing it’s kinda gross, and for another thing it’s also kinda weird. Like, sure, I’ve had anal leakage too ever since last year, but I don’t really get the appeal of making it everyone else’s business? There are diapers that go in your panties that are basically just a pad, and they’re not that weird at all! I don’t understand why people have to do trauma-dumps on me about their pants-dumps.
It honestly hurts my feelings when people say things like this and it hurts my heart… Please, if you’re a leakage claimer, just know that bullying is not okay just because you have less money than me! You still have to be nice!